I Talk Too Much

Seriously. There are times - a lot of times - when I walk away from a conversation and mentally kick myself for not being able to keep my yap shut. Sometimes I feel like I am a 3-year-old bouncing up and down like Mason does saying "Watch me! Pretend I'm a dog. And I have spots. I'm white with brown spots. And my collar is blue with stars on it. And I am 4. Pretend I am 4 and my birthday is in July. And my name is Scruffy. No wait. My name is John. Yeah John. Mama, did you hear me?"  (And yes, this is a real conversation I have had with Mason.)

Only I do this with grown-up conversations! Yikes!

Of course it's worse with certain topics. Start talking about my "big three" and I will literally talk your ear off. In the interest of full disclosure, these three topics are:

1. Pregnancy and breastfeeding
2. Parenting philosophies
3. Religion and morality

I suppose these are the three things in life that I feel most passionate about so it stands to reason that I have lots to say about them, but I seriously need to find that personal mute button.

For example, one of my best friends just had a baby. This was her big day! Her chance to tell her birth story, talk about her knowledge of pregnancy and labor and delivery. So as I'm visiting with her in the hospital, I kept finding myself interjecting with "I totally know what you mean!" and "That's exactly what happened to me!" and worst of all, an all-knowing nod of the head. YUCK! When I left, I wanted to smack myself.

So, I sit here today and vow once again to try and learn to be a calmer, quieter person. You know those people who, when you simply stand next to them, you feel calmer? They radiate this sense of peace, contentment and quiet calm. Yeah, I want to be one of THOSE people. Someone who makes the people around them feel at peace instead of someone who animatedly relates to a story with obnoxious facial expressions and loud guffaws at something funny.

So gentle reader, should I be talking to you in real life one day and the train starts barreling out of the station, know that I am doing my absolute best to exude personal calm and restraint. But I am still a work in progress..... er, maybe a major construction zone would be more accurate.