The Anniversary of our Miscarriage

I can't believe it has been a year. One whole year since we lost the little soul we never got to meet.

On the one hand I have come so far from here, yet on the other hand, the emotions today feel as raw as the day it happened. I marvel at how the hole left by someone I never really "knew" can feel so.... empty.

We went to the cemetery this morning as a family and I was so crabby the whole way there. I was mad that "I had to be doing this" and just feeling angry about everything. Anger is a funny emotion for me... it's like my "default" emotion. If anything gets too emotionally difficult to handle, instead of feeling sadness or despair, I just get royally ticked off. Survival instinct I guess?

I am just so thankful to be pregnant again. I think about all those mothers out there whose womb is still vacant after a miscarriage and whose arms still don't know the weight of a baby they carried. I can only imagine the additional heartache they must be feeling. While no one can ever bring back the baby one lost, there is definitely healing that comes from filling that void with another equally precious little life.

One year. One whole year of living and laughter, sadness and joy. One year closer to someday meeting our little soul in heaven. We love you and miss you Elizabeth. <3 You will never be forgotten.